In just one day...he was gone...

Waking up yesterday was much harder than most mornings. I sat on the foot of my bed for the longest time thinking of all the things I was going to say to him, all of the things I would confess before he left. I couldn't believe that this was really the day, the day he would be leaving; to chase his dreams and become something great. I was so proud of him, yet at the same time my heart began to ache heavily. In just a few short hours he would be gone..I thought of everything I wanted to say " Don't leave, I'll miss you so much, I'm so proud of you, what will we do without you?, is this really what you want? Just stay..." I thought of everything, over & over again. But I knew nothing I said would change his mind. I knew that this is what he wanted and I couldn't be selfish...despite my feelings towards him leaving, I would have to let him go. I sat for a long time thinking how this day would play out. Scared beyond all measures that I would be the one to fall apart before even getting out of the car. Walking to his front door was as a painful as I imagined it would be, I stared at the entrance for just moments & then I took a deep breath and pushed it open. I tried to think of funny things, anything to keep the tears from falling down my cheeks. He stepped out from his room and turned and looked at us, with his smile that same smile we took for granted all of these years. He packed the last of his things, as I stood there thinking of our friendship and how far it has come...how lucky I was to have such a great friend. We laughed for mere moments trying to make this not as hard as it already was...wishing that today wasn't really here, wishing we could turn back time just to spend one more day with him.The car ride was shorter than we thought. He hugged Angelique first, and at that moment the tears started to fall from her eyes , her face turned a blushing red with so much sadness.. as she said softly "see you soon". I was next, his arms wrapped around me and I felt my knees tremble and my heart began to hurt...tears filled my eyes & I whispered "I'll miss you"...as the words came out I could feel this gigantic lump form in my throat..tears ran down my face...I was so afraid to let go in fear that this was really it. Dia was the last to say goodbye, she hugged him with all her might and tried to stay strong,  he said it would be okay...she shook her head with watery eyes without saying a word  as the pain rushed through out her body, she stared at him trying to believe this really wasn't goodbye..he looked at us three one last time, his eyes glistening with tears...his nose ever so red, and his face filled with sorrow, he turned before the first tear fell from his eye and said "just go"  I felt like someone had just stabbed me as we walked away...he was really gone...all I could do was cry, so I did, until I couldn't anymore...he's been in our lives for five years...yet this last year meant more to me, to us, to him than any other year had ever. It's like God put him in our lives at the exact moment he knew we'd all need each other. He made a spot in our hearts that could never be replaced. I know God has so many great things in store for his life..We love him so much & know he is about to face new and exciting experiences, now that he's gone its time for us to live our dreams too. It's not goodbye but see you soon... We love you Andy, Spanks, Druski, Pinon...So very much and always will..