a different kind of saturday.

its monday and i woke up early.
starting this new things where i drink my coffee before i leave for class...
two weeks in counting.
school is finally coming to an end. yay.
back to drinking coffee at home well i'm a college student
and coffee at home is one cheaper and two well its cheaper.
starbs has taken way to much of my money this semester
so i decided this week i was going to take it easy on my iced coffee...
even though i love it insanely too much.
blogging too, two posts a week? just not acceptable and that needs to change like now!
i blame it on school. i blame it on busy days.
sooo lets talk about this weekend...this weekend was a bit different.
not like any weekend i've ever experienced.
a bit morbid if you ask me...it ended good though it ended positively...it ended with a peaceful mind.
i was faced with a person who was once a friend and who was once in a relationship with someone close to me. and then one day he left...walked away because he wasn't sure anymore. said goodbye and the pieces of her heart crumbled to the ground. And have yet to fully connect again. we were faced with this person for hours on saturday surrounded by mutual close friends and laughter. we knew this day was coming and we knew that a friendship was on the horizon...i was hesitant... but despite the pain and hurt she still loved him, and that i couldn't change. an unconditional love, a deep love. a love that she would hold onto even if it were twined with friendship. you never stop loving your first love. its a different type of love, its beautiful, innocent, and emotional. i walked in this setting thinking what is this why am i here?...what will i say...what will i do..for the last two years i've listened and was twined with the hurt that she carries on her sleeve, the anguish that falls from her eyes...and then i realized that this person that was once a friend was truly sorry. that this person was lost. that this person was humbled...that this person had nothing left, that this person is trying to find who they are, and felt abandoned and felt that God was no longer present... that they were empty. that despite their actions they truly need friendship and yearned for guidance and love. Yearning to be different, to change, to be better, to find his passion that he once had...to find "his funny" again. 
 Then i thought to myself who am i not to forgive, who am i, who am i to say there are no second chances, who am i to not listen when someone needs a shoulder or an ear to vent too & cry too. who am i to let someone hurt and not comfort them at all. i felt numb for a while. still hesitant about their motives but pained for them. i realized that no matter what the circumstances were, no matter what the past was, no matter how life goes you have to love people. not the actions...but the person. and listening to one, who's heart is obviously hurting, burdened my heart and i realized at that moment being a friend to someone who once was a friend was exactly what this person needed and thats exactly what i gave. 

via