5 things i only learn in night class...

1. My professor looks like "Gus Gus" from Cinderella! #notkidding the resemblance is remarkable
2. When only 6 out 30 students show up to class the monday after spring break that should be a sign to let us go home early not keep us 10 minutes after we are suppose to be let out! Get with the program!!
3. Dear girl who wears only black, always has an attitude and is obsessed only with Dickinson and nothing else... How dare you!! Hunger Games is good literature don't make me cut you.
4. Dr. Cook " Man, that lil wayne i can't stand him....all he raps about is that booty" HAHAHA uncontrollable laughter...couldn't stop...highlight of my night!  
5.  campus in the dark...hate it. #scuuury

to shower or not to shower that is the question...

old hair. new hair coming soon! <3 

confession time!!

sometimes i hate taking showers. i mean i really really hate taking them, and sometimes i really despise blowdrying my hair!!

am i freak? is that weird? please tell me i'm not the only one who feels this way.

if i am, well, i guess i'm a freak then and i'm just going to have to live with that. can't win them all. 

the entire process in the shower is soooo time consuming. such a process. you know it is. lets be real here c'mon. 

a shower consists of way to many things and frankly sometimes i just hate doing it.
in the morning when it's freezing is the worst. 

i still do it of course! but not with a happy attitude. usually a smug one. 

i'm not a girl who washes her hair everyday, for the obvious reason it's not good for your natural oils and two if i had to wash my hair everyday i would die. or punch someone...okay i wouldn't punch someone, i'm not that crazy. but i would probably whine the entire time. i have soooo much hair and sometimes i want to shave it all off. or leave it in a bun every single day. (if only)  sorry for my rambling...where was i?? oh yes, i have so much hair its ridiculous...that leads me to my annoyance with blow drying. i sit with the dryer against my hair for hours it seems like. okay it's 15 minutes. but thats a long time, don't you think? that could be
15 minutes of extra sleep
15 minutes of eating breakfast
15 minutes of reading
15 minutes of enjoying my coffee not in the car.
15 minutes of doing last minute homework...
it could mean a lot of things.
that 15 minutes is precious valuable time can i get an amen!
now baths on the other hand, ooh i just love those!!
on a random note:  

i got my hair did this weekend. did something a little different, a spontanious do called the ombre!
are you familar with it? If not, you should google it! i'm obsessed. while sitting in the salon i became aware of two important things

1. i need to invest in a personal hair washer...preferably sooner than later

2. i need to buy whatever shampoo they used on me asap, because i couldn't stop sniffing my hair for two days straight! 

The beginning of everything

" I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity and her flaming self respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything."

 - f.scott.fitzgerald

sometimes...

i sit and ponder how incredibly lucky i am to be unconditionally loved by the creator of the world. there are times we can so easily lose sight of his amazing grace. as people we consume ourselves so much with trying so hard to make the worldly things love us and accept us, that we lose sight of the unconditional love that is anxiously waiting for us to latch onto. that even when we screw up Jesus loves like crazy. he loves us all the time, at our worst, at our best, at our strongest and at our weakest. it's a great feeling to be reminded that no matter what his love is everlasting...

Dear 2012,

I'm happy you are here. I look forward to everything you have in store this year. I'm excited, lets get started!!
2012 Resolutions: 

• be bold and fearless in my faith 
• to journal again 
• to blog about life daily. 
•  to be a stronger and daring prayer.
•  start running again...and not give up so easily. workout every single morning, take in the nature that surrounds me. 
•  i want this year to be less about me and what i need and more about others. 
• be more passionate about the organizations that i am so passionate about. embrace new opportunities 
• this year i want to travel and i want to look ahead to the future with ease and excitement
• be healthy; eat healthy and be more active prepare to run a half marathon. 
• be motivated in the things that are important, make small goals and accomplish them. 
• be extremely organized with things that that are apart of my life.  
• be happy and grateful, don't over think, be more spontaneous, take chances, adore the little things. 
• make more time for those i care about, strengthen and build stronger friendships and new ones.

2012 bring it, I'm ready!!! 

2011 it's been fun!

2011 what a year!

 challenging, rewarding, amazing, rough and wonderful. 

a year that will be sad to see end but looking forward to whats next.

a glance at all of the goodness this year:

bring it on 2012 can't wait to see what you have in store!!

that feeling...

i know...and i will...

“I will have poetry in my life. And adventure. And love.Love above all. No… not the artful postures of love, not playful and poetical games of love for the amusement of an evening, but love that… overthrows life. Unbiddable, ungovernable - like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture. Love - like there has never been in a play.

-shakespeare in love 

On certain days...

there are the days when you need to just get up and go. take a trip, on an airplane, in a car, or with your bare feet, there are days when you need to just get up and go. when being home isn't enough. you yearn for adventure, laughter, a scenery, other than what you see outside of your window. there are the days when you need to just get up and go. to far off places, to a town not to far from your own, anywhere but where you stand now. climbing mountains, bare foot in the sand, swimming in the sea. there are the days when you need to just get up and go. to follow your dreams, find true love, chase after the unknown. there are the days when you need to just get up and go...

via weheartit.com

the one who loved with everything she had...

as she looked in the mirror she saw past pain marked against her soft skin. 
the puffiness that surrounded her brown eyes, 
the stained dried tears placed against her cheeks...
she turned her head slightly and remembered:
the way he use to look at her. 
a time when his eyes would only meet her's 
when there were no tears or heartache
when she was enough.
when their love was the only love that truly mattered...

~

she reached for the faucet and the ice cold water stung the tips of her fingers
cupping her hands and splashing it against her delicate skin 
as it fell from her face she glanced up and saw that girl... 
the one full of life
the one who laughed and fought for happiness
the one who loved with everything she had
the girl she thought she had lost through it all...
and at that moment she was given hope
the kind of hope that she needed..
the kind that would make her whole again. 


via

living...

 via

tribute: to a couple of bezzies i know and adore...

these two are best friends. they are a funny little pair and i adore them so much. i've watched their friendship blossom into what it is today and its beautiful, innocent and lovely. their friendship is rare. these next few words define who they are completely: one day you will meet a friend who will accept you for everything that you are. a friend that will care for you despite your flaws and insecurities. a person who you can spend hours on the phone with, laughing about ridiculous nonsense that only makes sense to you two. you will be there through the hard times and the best times. stick by one another through the rough patches, disagreements, obnoxious moments and memorable ones. you will lift one another up and challenge each other to go the distance. chase after dreams that seem impossible, push each other to succeed and be bluntly honest even when it hurts feelings just to make each other acknowledge how much you both are worth in the world. there are times when you will cry and you will need one another without saying a single word just to lean on and be a soulful embrace. one day you will meet a best friend who will be there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and make you laugh instantaneously when no one else can. a friend who will be your friend even when you don't want them to be. a best friend is hard to come by but when you finally find one hold on to them because they are worth the world. these words define these two and when i see a friendship like this one that blossoms and shines ever so bright it warms my heart because i know it's a friendship that will last forever and forever is a very long time...


my darling baby sister and her bestie :) 

a different kind of saturday.

its monday and i woke up early.
starting this new things where i drink my coffee before i leave for class...
two weeks in counting.
school is finally coming to an end. yay.
back to drinking coffee at home well i'm a college student
and coffee at home is one cheaper and two well its cheaper.
starbs has taken way to much of my money this semester
so i decided this week i was going to take it easy on my iced coffee...
even though i love it insanely too much.
blogging too, two posts a week? just not acceptable and that needs to change like now!
i blame it on school. i blame it on busy days.
sooo lets talk about this weekend...this weekend was a bit different.
not like any weekend i've ever experienced.
a bit morbid if you ask me...it ended good though it ended positively...it ended with a peaceful mind.
i was faced with a person who was once a friend and who was once in a relationship with someone close to me. and then one day he left...walked away because he wasn't sure anymore. said goodbye and the pieces of her heart crumbled to the ground. And have yet to fully connect again. we were faced with this person for hours on saturday surrounded by mutual close friends and laughter. we knew this day was coming and we knew that a friendship was on the horizon...i was hesitant... but despite the pain and hurt she still loved him, and that i couldn't change. an unconditional love, a deep love. a love that she would hold onto even if it were twined with friendship. you never stop loving your first love. its a different type of love, its beautiful, innocent, and emotional. i walked in this setting thinking what is this why am i here?...what will i say...what will i do..for the last two years i've listened and was twined with the hurt that she carries on her sleeve, the anguish that falls from her eyes...and then i realized that this person that was once a friend was truly sorry. that this person was lost. that this person was humbled...that this person had nothing left, that this person is trying to find who they are, and felt abandoned and felt that God was no longer present... that they were empty. that despite their actions they truly need friendship and yearned for guidance and love. Yearning to be different, to change, to be better, to find his passion that he once had...to find "his funny" again. 
 Then i thought to myself who am i not to forgive, who am i, who am i to say there are no second chances, who am i to not listen when someone needs a shoulder or an ear to vent too & cry too. who am i to let someone hurt and not comfort them at all. i felt numb for a while. still hesitant about their motives but pained for them. i realized that no matter what the circumstances were, no matter what the past was, no matter how life goes you have to love people. not the actions...but the person. and listening to one, who's heart is obviously hurting, burdened my heart and i realized at that moment being a friend to someone who once was a friend was exactly what this person needed and thats exactly what i gave. 

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Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday.

via

A few thoughts on the last few days...
Monday was a typical Monday.
I'm reading Joyce in British Lit and I'm actually enjoying him.
Many people i know don't care for him.
I actually find him interesting and his writing to be fascinating.
Monday I didn't want to go to interning.
Monday I wanted to lay in bed all day.
I taught a lesson on poetry I that I wasn't very prepared for.
The results were better than expected.
My seventh graders make me want to pull my hair out and hug them all at the same time.
I must admit they are pretty great and once I see them they make Monday's not so bad.
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday. 
You are becoming bittersweet to me these days.
I used to dread you.
I used to wonder what your true purpose was.
Sometimes you make me overwhelmed
Sometimes I can't wait until you are over
These last few months you are not so bad.
Lately I've quite enjoyed you.
You come and go pretty fast and I'm thankful for that.
Ohh Tuesday.
Wednesday!!! 
You are by far one of my favorite days of the week.
I look forward to your presence.
You are my busiest day and less stressful day
And I love that.
I love that class was canceled today.
I love that each weds night I'm able to hangout with my favorite people at The Well.
Thank you for always challenging me on this day.
Wednesday you are wonderful.

Two posts in ONE day YAY!

"High Low"
High of the week: 
Working out full force all week running everyday and not eating after 6pm it's been incredibly challenging but the results thus far have been so rewarding. I'm starting to get the hang of things in being "healthy" and I'm lovin it. Yes it's not all easy but who said getting into shape would be? Its intense and refreshing all at the same time! I love being motivated and as of now I am boldly motivated!
Low of the week: 
Letting my sensitivity get the best of me this week. I openly admit I am a sensitive gal. I'm the type of girl who every once in awhile needs to let out a good cry, better than keeping it in right?! right.There are moments when I take things way too personal and I hate it. I've realize that certain circumstances aren't worth my tears and I shouldn't let them effect me as much as I do. This week was tough and I was ambushed with things that were just making me feel so inferior and I couldn't help but cry. Nothing too serious, just little things that added up and eventually I couldn't keep in the stress any longer and well I let out the tears. As strange as it sounds it made me feel a whole lot better to let it all out. Sometimes I wish I could be less sensitive. That maybe I could be a little stronger but its apart of who I am and its not something I can change completely...and I've come to realize and accept that being a little sensitive is sometimes okay...
What was your "High Low" of the week???

A simple letter...

Dear future soul mate,
One day we will meet and before that day comes there are a few things you may need to know. 
I like to sleep in on saturday sometimes until noon. 
I need my coffee right away in the mornings otherwise I'm not the sweetest person.  
Sometimes I eat cereal for dinner, I hope thats alright. 
I love Edith Piaf and I love listening to her while I read, study, cook, clean...pretty much all the time. 
There are going to be times when we fight and I'm going to always want to win or be right. 
There are going to be times when I will cry and I may need you to wipe my tears.
I love sitting in coffee shops and bookstores for hours, I hope you're okay with that. 
People watching is one of my favorite activities...I can't wait for us to do this together. 
I'm a bit of a procrastinator it's one of my many flaws...
I sometimes lay in bed and watch the cooking channel and wish that I could make all of the marvelous things I see...
Sometimes I sneak downstairs late at night, and eat grahams and milk. 
Sometimes I watch old black and white movies on Friday nights and think how lovely it would be to live during that era. 
I love to travel and I hope you do too. 
My family is my rock and my heart. I hope yours is to you. 
One day soon we will meet...until then.
Love, 
Me

10 things I learned this week thus far...

1. Pretending to not be sick is worse than just sucking up and taking the disgusting medicine.
2. I have some pretty rad people in my life that I'm lucky enough to call friends.
3. Americano's are my new thing.
4. Four classes in a row without a break in between...what was I thinking?!
5. Regis is retiring...I don't want to talk about it. =/
6. When you forgive someone the prisoner is set free...and you find out the entire time the prisoner was you-wisdom from TheWell
7. Grapefruit should be eaten daily. (so good!)
8. I have some pretty amazing teachers this semester. justsayin.
9. Taylor Mali is inspiring.
10. I'm the key to my success. 

A bright morning...

Via

I've been wide awake since 4:45am. Why?! Who knows.
I've decided it's because it's the first day of school.
Yes thats why.
My body must be nervous/anxious to get this day started...
I sprung out of bed this morning and immediately began to get ready for the day.
I went with it, made some coffee ate a half of grapefruit, watched a little NBC news and well I was ready to go by 6:15 this morning.
Did I mention my first class doesn't start until 10:30am....
I don't know if this is going to be daily procedure.
But if it chooses to be, then I no longer have to worry about being late anymore.
That's a plus right?!

200th Post...

It's really hard to believe that this my

  200th post. 

The last few days I have been reading past posts...each making me more and more nostalgic. Many of them make me laugh, other's have made me cry and some have made me think "what was I ever thinking?' haha... Overall, I love each and every post for a different reason. They are each special in there own way.
I realized that this blog is more than just a blog about my daily experiences or thoughts. But its a piece of my heart, my soul. Everything that I write here is real, true, and me. Opening my blog to the public was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I didn't want people to judge me, negatively criticize my random scribblings,  or feel offended by some of the blunt and honest things I say. Or even my views, yet at the same time despite my fears and hesitations I decided it was time to show the world or those few that even knew what my blog was...who the girl behind the keyboard really is. It was time to show that I have a voice, opinions, and that my life does have a little bit of excitement within it. Blogging is important to me for so many reasons...I have found my true self within every word I write and have become happy and confident in the young woman I am. I'm forever thankful for each darling comment I receive and every sweet compliment that I am given. I'm so grateful and humbled that people read these thoughts that I jot down. I'm anxious for the future and to grow as a writer in the next 200posts.  God has blessed me with such a beautiful passion and for that I will forever be grateful. Blogging has changed me & is apart me and I think it always will be.
xox <3

Without warning...

Every once in awhile without any warning someone may say something to you that feels like a complete and utter punch in the face. Joking or not joking it still hurts all the same. They strike a nerve inside of you that sends waves of piercing stings all through out  your body. (Of course you hold it together at the time because you not dare show your real emotion in front of them and others.)
 In my opinion I can handle most sarcasm...I say most because I know I have a limit. We all do... we are all human. None of us are made of stone. There are times when we are going to feel a bit inferior...  I believe everyone has some sort of limit...some are shorter than others.  But once the line is crossed it only really leads to one thing.. in simplest terms "meanness." The question is when is it enough? How much can you take before you begin to feel your ears getting hot and your face turning red?? It's the types of moments like these where you wish you could crawl up into a ball and just cry for hours. Where someone can make you feel so small and insecure just by saying a measly little sentence. It's at these moments when you start asking yourself when did I become so sensitive? When did I start caring what others think or say? You vent to those that will listen and those you trust and then bury your hurt (thinking it may be just bit easier that way) and hope you are never faced with it again.

Then without you knowing someone who cares about you speaks on your behalf. Seeing the discouragement in your eyes and without you having any idea they step in for you to do what you wish you only had the courage to do. They take the heat and voice your feelings that you have locked away without you ever being aware of it. Yes you are forever grateful for their kindness and love....yet at the same time you feel even more awkward about the situation than you did before...and in your mind you have become "that girl" the one who is to sensitive the one who told on another..the one who couldn't just take the sarcasm... the joke.  In all reality though you are none of those things, you are a strong girl, a brave girl, a girl who can take a lot...one who can laugh at sarcasm and even dish some out... until you are faced with something that really does "hurt" you and makes you think "was that really called for"  Then someone who loves you, someone who would do anything for you, someone who doesn't like that a "simple sentence" is making you feel so discouraged...takes control because its their job to protect you and look out for you. So yes it makes its awkward that its out in the open...yes it makes it awkward that now that person was confronted by a superior....yes its awkward that its going to be twice as hard to get past this and still salvage a friendship...(not impossible) but in the end everyone makes mistakes...everyone's feelings get hurt every once in awhile, we forgive and forget;  learn from these things and move forward and never let them control us or dwell in our lives...